Alcohol: Bad for You, Great for the Environment

photo by Volkan Olmez

Sure, drinking too much alcohol can make you physically ‘green’, and have you hugging your new ceramic friend for the best (worst) part of the night. However, drinking the good stuff will have you inadvertently being a “green god/goddess” for the whole of the next day.

No great stories started with “I was having a few fruit juices”. Last night you may have been drinking organic beer, from a recycleable vessel in an e friendly bar, but it is the morning after where your inadvertent eco adventure begins…

BEEP BEEP – Finally, you wearily drag your hungover self out of bed as duty calls (your job), having hit that snooze button the default number of times, and then some.

Meandering to the bathroom, semi conscious in the semi darkness, veering away from the light switches, afraid of the headache enhancing effects of illumination.

Stepping into the shower, setting the temperature to cold in a dire effort to fire up the dormant synapses. Even briefer than normal, due to your extended snooze fest, taking advantage of this time to urinate, saving yourself some vital seconds and a cistern full of water.

Hatchet cleaning job done, next torture is the drying process. No electronic heating gadgets, just vigorously rubbing the closest towel available (fresh or used) against the skin. Grabbing a coffee on your way out the door, an instant not filtered version; time & percolation wait for no-one.

Hitting the streets, redundant car keys in hand. Knowing you are neither capable or technically legal to drive in your current state – you take public transport. Using the time afforded to wallow in the vacancy of your mind, trying to muster up some semblance of the energy required to get you through the day.

Suffice to say, you will not be at your most productive, leaving the lights off until some intern ‘helpfully’ turns them on for you. Flicking through your job list, putting off till tomorrow what should have been done yesterday. Anything that won’t get you fired is filed!

Monopolising the water station like a refuelling camel. Dehydration is cutting you no slack, although it does reduce the toilet trips; well for that end! The “if it’s yellow let it mellow” slogan needn’t concern you today, not that it is appropriate for the workplace!

Underlings are given an easy ride. Reprimands are waived and work loads reduced. No rest for the wicked hungover. Lunch is spent looking for a cool, dark, covert place to lay your head. Mischievously leaving the office earlier for a phantom meeting.

The day passes in a strobe, slow motion induced blur. Skipping your post work exercise regime; the gym with it’s ‘personality’ trainers, motivational music & bright lights, is enough to bring you out in hives.

Eventually getting home. Bypassing the hours of TV, and straight on the phone. Takeaway for one, no cooking, no cleaning, no interacting.

Eat, do not pass go & straight to bed.

One less day, one less carbon footprint.

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